Shhh

Added on by Rivers.

1. I was watching a Kanye interview yesterday (as usual) and (I can't remember what the moderator asked him but) he started his answer with "I've never written a self-help book or anything...", which was funny and modest because, to me, "Can't tell me nothin" is one of the best self-help books ever written (followed by "Started from the bottom"). 

I found one of my all-time favorite Kanye quotes the other day

2. I was in the studio today (yayyyyy!!!!), which typically involves an early, empty, 40-minute train ride, singing and re-singing in the studio and an (uncharacteristically) fast walk back to the train station.

While I was in between recording, I had a... what's the deja vu/out of body/'That's-so-Raven'-seeing-into-the-future equivalent of a really intense and vivid moment of "Oh shit, what the fuck are you doing with your life?". I'm always subconsciously aware of my concerns and anxieties about my life decisions/path, so to have a short but concentrated (hyper)conscious experience of that was weird because I was right in the middle of doing what is the answer to "What the fuck are you doing with your life?".

I'm aware that 5 years from now, I could look back on this blog and read it after getting back home from a job I don't enjoy... which reminds me of something I read a while ago in a Tinie Tempah interview

3. I was watching Labrinth's "making of the album" short video thing a while ago, and at the end of it he says, "I recorded everything I did while making this album so that at the end of it, I could say 'I did it'' and that made me start thinking about this blog. I'd prefer blogging about superficial and casual things that don't need any introspection or self-disclosure because that would give me the luxury of emotionally detaching myself from publicly saying "This is what I want to do with my life and I may or may not fuck it up, I don't know" and documenting that process. The last part of his sentence really resonated with me because it made the connection of this blog being more than just another avenue/expression of me and it being that thing that forces me to be accountable for my success or failure as a musician. 

4. I'm about to have cereal (coco pops) for dinner.